My Year of Facilitating Compassion Course Group: Lessons in Leading with Compassion

Last updated on May 29, 2025 Compassionate Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Facilitation, Personal Growth, Reflections

Over the past year, I had the privilege of facilitating CompassionBloom, a compassion group rooted in the principles of Compassionate Communication as taught by Thom Bond. This journey has been both a profound learning experience and a deep opportunity for growth as a facilitator and as a compassionate human being.

From Student to Facilitator

Before stepping into this role, I completed a year-long course in compassionate communication. Afterward, I began facilitating alongside my co-facilitator, Lisa. We started with three facilitators, and as time passed, the group shifted to just the two of us continuing the journey. This transition became a valuable part of our learning, testing our commitment, adaptability, and mutual support.

What Worked Well

Learning by Doing: Facilitation isn’t just about guiding others. It’s about growing alongside them. The act of facilitating became a living practice that deepened my own understanding of compassionate communication.
Collaborative Facilitation: Working with Lisa brought diversity and richness to our group’s dynamic. Even during periods of low participation, having a co-facilitator meant we could continue holding space reliably and compassionately.
Holding Space: One of the most meaningful aspects was co-creating a warm, grounded environment where participants could safely explore their feelings, needs, and inner growth.

What Didn’t Work / Areas for Improvement

Balancing Needs and Strategy: The course powerfully emphasizes feelings and needs, yet the part about building actionable strategies felt less developed. Incorporating clearer strategy-building practices would strengthen its impact.
Facilitator Check-Ins: We learned the importance of intentionally creating time to check in as facilitators. At times, our own needs especially around scheduling and emotional support went unmet. Regular facilitator support sessions would help sustain the team.
Autonomy vs. Agreements: Initially, we agreed to limit group membership to participants of the original course. While this created focus, it also conflicted with my need for autonomy and my wish to open the group to others who might have benefited and to keep the group’s energy vibrant.
Participant Engagement: Naturally, the number of participants decreased over time, which affected the energy of our sessions. Still, our dedication to those who continued remained steady and sincere.

Financial and Contribution Insights

Dana Model vs. Subscription: In the NVC tradition, we value the dana (donation-based) model that honors choice, freedom, and generosity. Initially, we explored a subscription-based model to manage logistics, but it wasn’t a great fit especially with other established groups already in place.
Facilitator Financial Needs: The need for security, stability, and reciprocity for facilitators is real. This year, we tried a “pay what you can” model to accommodate varying financial realities, but sustainable models are still evolving.
Facilitation as an Investment: Facilitators invest significant time and resources in training and ongoing practice. Supporting their needs both financial and emotional is essential for the long-term health of the community.

What I Learned

The biggest lesson was learning to show up imperfectly to lead, facilitate, and hold space with compassion, even when things didn’t go as planned. The essence of facilitation is about being a loving, grounded presence and staying committed to the growth of others, and of ourselves.

This experience has strengthened my dedication to compassionate communication and affirmed that facilitation is a living, relational practice built on empathy, trust, and presence.

What’s Next for Me

I feel inspired by what’s possible and ready to pivot.

I want to bring compassion into synthesis mode: to integrate what I’ve learned from CompassionBloom with insights from Martin Ucik’s work on Integral Relationships, and my ongoing curiosity in systems thinking. I’m especially passionate about exploring how compassionate communication can support men’s emotional development and relational awareness in a holistic, systemic way.

This next phase for me is about connecting the dots and finding ways to serve from a place of greater integration.

Heartfelt Gratitude

Deep gratitude to Thom Bond for his compassionate presence and the visionary foundation he has built through this work. I’m also thankful for the GCN dedicated team, whose care, coordination, and support made this transformative experience possible behind the scenes.

Sharing the facilitation journey with Lisa has been a gift. Thanks for your trust, patience, and commitment which were vital to sustaining the space we created. I’m also grateful for Rozalind, whose warm presence and soulful flute music brought beauty and calm to our initial sessions!

Finally, heartfelt thanks to the CompassionBloom group participants. Your presence, honesty, and willingness to explore compassion together have touched me deeply. Walking this path with you has been an honor I’ll carry forward.